Blasted fitness tests. Why did I even begin to think that I was ready for them? Well, I knew I wasn't ready for the mile and a half, but I thought I had the sprints! It was the jogging back part that got me. I ended up making them only after I resorted to the old method: Sprint, rest for a minute, sprint back, and so on. Yeah, I know it; I am a wimp. I'm also an idiot for waiting THIS LONG to realize that I need to step it up in the fitness department. I should have been working harder all summer long instead of waiting until now when I'm pretty much messed. It's not like I've really been slacking off; it's that I could have been working so much harder than I have been. I could have been running more than just our workout. I should have been. However, one my greatest faults is a serious lack of self-discipline. Therefore, I just didn't. I told myself I would NOT be in Breakfast Club, I WOULD get back and beyond where I was at the end of last summer. Did I do either of those? Well, one I certainly did not, and the other is looking pretty certain. I can't blame anyone but myself, and I am thoroughly ticked about it. At myself, of course.
On another note, I have taken two trips to Jackson the last two weeks to hang out with Cheslie and play some soccer. I was going to take another this week, but I was asked to fill in at a lawyer's office in H-don for the whole week. Ches informed me that I HAVE to come next week; I didn't argue. I have so much fun hanging out there at Bredow's house with the girls (and the guys that drop by). Last week my brother went with me, because our parents were gone on a short trip. That was hilarious (construction barrels!!!). Good memories. Maybe I'll be "stealth" and show up without announcing it. Haha. Ches probably wouldn't care.
When I was in high school, I didn't participate in any pranks or anything. My friends just didn't really do those kinds of things, and I just didn't have a lot of interest in them. College, however, has been a little different. It's not like I've been a complete juvenile delinquent (I'm not really a juvenile anymore, am I?), but I have been a participant in a couple of random acts of stupidity. Haha. Man, it is fun. Don't worry, I won't go crazy with it or anything; it's just funny. It makes it even funnier when these things happen that I'm thinking, " I can't BELIEVE I'm doing this!!!" Let me just tell you, businesses don't seem to trust people anymore...bolting signs to their brick and all that. HAHA! What makes them do that? Oh, I guess it must be because of people like us that try to steal the sign! Hm...interesting thought...
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Summer Thoughts
Oh, summer. Preseason seems so far away. I'm excited about going. It's actually just a month away, but at the moment a month feels like a year. I'm ready to be back at school. Well, I'm ready to see all my friends again. I love Union. For some reason I'm a little nervous about meeting all the new soccer girls. I guess it's mainly because it'll be like meeting a whole new team, considering there are over twenty of them. I'm excited about that as well, though.
Relationships can be so...weird. I tend to complicate things, so I mainly blame myself. Whatever. I'm not making much sense - again. I'm just looking for the right person, and I think sometimes it frustrates me that I haven't found him yet. It's not like I don't have time. I also tend to get impatient about certain things. I'm working with God to improve on that.
I really don't have much to say; I just felt like I needed to write something. Summer has almost been a break for my emotions. Not completely, of course. I can never have a total break from them. It's just been a lot less emotionally draining. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise.
Relationships can be so...weird. I tend to complicate things, so I mainly blame myself. Whatever. I'm not making much sense - again. I'm just looking for the right person, and I think sometimes it frustrates me that I haven't found him yet. It's not like I don't have time. I also tend to get impatient about certain things. I'm working with God to improve on that.
I really don't have much to say; I just felt like I needed to write something. Summer has almost been a break for my emotions. Not completely, of course. I can never have a total break from them. It's just been a lot less emotionally draining. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Relating
I can't relate. You're going through something that has to do with drinking? Sorry, can't help you. What about sex? Nope! Don't even get me started on drugs; I won't get anywhere.
It's not like I've never done anything wrong; total opposite. Well, not total opposite, because the total opposite would be that I have done everything wrong. That's not too far from the truth, but...ugh! I'm not doing very well with explaining this. There are different kinds of sin; I couldn't name off all of them or anything. I'm no expert. I do know that there are "physical" sins. I consider those to be things like drinking, having sex - things that harm/affect your body. Then there are I guess what you could call "mental" sins - dirty thoughts, I think. Ha. Think...anyway, I believe there could also be a category we will call "emotional" sins. I'm not exactly sure what would constitute an emotional sin, but I'm pretty sure I've committed it.
I guess one of the biggest sins I have committed/commit is what I call a "faith" sin. Does that make sense? I don't always have the faith I should in God. I don't know if that would fit into one of the aforementioned categories, but for the moment I am putting it in its own. I try to fix things; I want to help people with their problems, and I want to solve my own. It kills me when I can't do anything to alleviate someone else's suffering. However, that is NOT my place. It is God's. Who am I to think that I can do God's job? I don't believe it's a question of pride; well, maybe it is. My mind is made to be analytical; because of that, it is all set to look at a problem from every angle and deduct the best possible way of handling it. It absolutely frustrates me if I cannot find a solution. I think along the lines of, "I should be able to figure this out! Why is this so hard?" The answer is that I am not SUPPOSED to figure it out! God throws things in my way to get me to turn to HIM, not myself! I'm supposed to lean on Him when I am having trouble dealing with something; He can and wants to handle it. I just won't let Him do His job a lot. I'm working on that; it's definitely a learning process.
The main point I am trying to get across is this: I haven't been through a lot of serious things in my life when I look at what other people have gone through. However, you want to call me perfect? What you see as perfect is only skin deep. Would you be surprised to know that I have made the mistake of assuming I'm better than some people because I didn't fall for the same temptations that they did? What I didn't realize at the time is that they are impervious to a lot of the temptations that I succomb to daily. I am no better than anyone who has slept with twenty or more different people, who go out to drink every weekend, who get high every chance they get.
My confessed sin may not sound as bad as some others, but in God's eyes it is no different. And His eyes are the only ones that really matter.
It's not like I've never done anything wrong; total opposite. Well, not total opposite, because the total opposite would be that I have done everything wrong. That's not too far from the truth, but...ugh! I'm not doing very well with explaining this. There are different kinds of sin; I couldn't name off all of them or anything. I'm no expert. I do know that there are "physical" sins. I consider those to be things like drinking, having sex - things that harm/affect your body. Then there are I guess what you could call "mental" sins - dirty thoughts, I think. Ha. Think...anyway, I believe there could also be a category we will call "emotional" sins. I'm not exactly sure what would constitute an emotional sin, but I'm pretty sure I've committed it.
I guess one of the biggest sins I have committed/commit is what I call a "faith" sin. Does that make sense? I don't always have the faith I should in God. I don't know if that would fit into one of the aforementioned categories, but for the moment I am putting it in its own. I try to fix things; I want to help people with their problems, and I want to solve my own. It kills me when I can't do anything to alleviate someone else's suffering. However, that is NOT my place. It is God's. Who am I to think that I can do God's job? I don't believe it's a question of pride; well, maybe it is. My mind is made to be analytical; because of that, it is all set to look at a problem from every angle and deduct the best possible way of handling it. It absolutely frustrates me if I cannot find a solution. I think along the lines of, "I should be able to figure this out! Why is this so hard?" The answer is that I am not SUPPOSED to figure it out! God throws things in my way to get me to turn to HIM, not myself! I'm supposed to lean on Him when I am having trouble dealing with something; He can and wants to handle it. I just won't let Him do His job a lot. I'm working on that; it's definitely a learning process.
The main point I am trying to get across is this: I haven't been through a lot of serious things in my life when I look at what other people have gone through. However, you want to call me perfect? What you see as perfect is only skin deep. Would you be surprised to know that I have made the mistake of assuming I'm better than some people because I didn't fall for the same temptations that they did? What I didn't realize at the time is that they are impervious to a lot of the temptations that I succomb to daily. I am no better than anyone who has slept with twenty or more different people, who go out to drink every weekend, who get high every chance they get.
My confessed sin may not sound as bad as some others, but in God's eyes it is no different. And His eyes are the only ones that really matter.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
So the Summer Begins
It always happens. I expect to be SO BORED all summer, cause there's nothing I really have planned. WRONG. Last week I had something to do every day. Lifeguarding hadn't even started yet. Sunday I hung out with Kyle, one of my friends from H-don. Monday I went to the H-don graduation; I might have done something earlier that day. Tuesday...I can't remember. Haha. I know I did something! Wednesday I sold corndogs for Relay For Life. Thursday, it seems like Mom and I did something. (Yeah, this reminescing thing is going real smooth.) Friday I had a big date with Richard in Dickson. Saturday Mom and I took a trip to Jackson and got in a little shopping.
This Sunday was my first day back at lifeguarding. The pool opened Saturday. I also worked a party this morning for about an hour and a half. I'm working tomorrow and Thursday. I seem to have very little aptitude for remembering stuff about my various jobs; I always had problems when I worked for Dad. When I was working Sunday, Ms. Lucy (woman who owns the pool) had to yell at me to tell a kid not to hang on the diving board. I saw him doing it, but it didn't register that he needed to stop. Haha. Oh, well. I'll be just fine.
I started my soccer workout last week, although this week was the official time to start. After being for surgery, I knew I needed to go ahead and jump in. I'm so glad I did. I'm still going to be hurting when the real running starts in a couple of weeks. I'm going to go kind of easy on the weightlifting this summer, especially on my legs. I'll start out easy, anyway. Dad told someone I probably wouldn't be squatting 140, 160, and 180 like I was last summer, but I believe differently. We'll see. I am majorly dreading getting into the running workouts. Ugh. I have a feeling another nasty episode will come up...
This Sunday was my first day back at lifeguarding. The pool opened Saturday. I also worked a party this morning for about an hour and a half. I'm working tomorrow and Thursday. I seem to have very little aptitude for remembering stuff about my various jobs; I always had problems when I worked for Dad. When I was working Sunday, Ms. Lucy (woman who owns the pool) had to yell at me to tell a kid not to hang on the diving board. I saw him doing it, but it didn't register that he needed to stop. Haha. Oh, well. I'll be just fine.
I started my soccer workout last week, although this week was the official time to start. After being for surgery, I knew I needed to go ahead and jump in. I'm so glad I did. I'm still going to be hurting when the real running starts in a couple of weeks. I'm going to go kind of easy on the weightlifting this summer, especially on my legs. I'll start out easy, anyway. Dad told someone I probably wouldn't be squatting 140, 160, and 180 like I was last summer, but I believe differently. We'll see. I am majorly dreading getting into the running workouts. Ugh. I have a feeling another nasty episode will come up...
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
My Birthday (Plus Some Thoughts)
I had a great birthday. It was kind of spread out, but that only makes it better. My roommate, Emily, had her birthday the day after mine, so we celebrated together some. I went home this past weekend; it was Mother's Day, as well as mine and Dad's birthdays. I was glad to be home, and I'm really looking forward to coming home for the summer tomorrow. On Monday (my birthday) I had a final at two and planned to sleep in some. That didn't exactly happen. I got two text messages and three or four calls between ten and ten thirty. That was fine by me! My sister, Lauren, stopped by on her way back to Memphis in order to drop off her present for me. Kala Beth was in Jackson for an interview, so we went out to lunch; that was great, because we haven't hung out in forever! I had my test, and then hung out with Richard until I went to eat with my aunt for dinner. After Richard got done with his night class final, we went to Books-A-Million for coffee (although neither one of us actually got coffee) and some reading. I had to get back and study for my final on Tuesday. So, it was a wonderful day.
I think I've been doing really well on the whole not worrying thing so far. There have been a few things to test me, and I expected that to be the case. I'm a little concerned about an issue right now, but I'm going to let God take care of it. I think one of my biggest fears is hurting someone. I hate making mistakes, but I really hate it when my mistakes injure someone else. I can deal with hurt and pain, but I do not want to inflict it on anyone else. Sometimes it is almost necessary, however. The thing is, though, that the situation probably could have been avoided if I had not made a mistake in the first place. It's all one big nasty cycle. I'm glad summer is only one day away; I need a break.
This summer seems like it's going to be slow. I am working as a lifeguard again, but, just like last summer, I won't be working many hours. My summer will be filled with my workout for soccer, though. Other than those two things, I may be a little bored. I want to learn a lot of praise songs on the guitar, so I'll work on that. I could get some reading done, just for the heck of it. Going down to Memphis (and possibly Nashville) will be necessary to do some serious hanging out and having a blast.
I have one more final in ten minutes. It's Foundations of American Education, and I don't think I will do the greatest on it. I've not well on any of the other tests in that class to date. Ugh. I would love to pull out a B in there, but it may not happen. After my test, Mom and I are going to do some shopping in the Jackson area. I have birthday money, and I intend to use it...some of it, anyway. After that I will be headed home, probably to a big, long nap, cause I stayed up with Cheslie most of the night last night. We had planned on staying up all night, but that didn't happen. I think I slept about four or five hours. I'm not just dead tired yet, but I imagine that I will be. Woohoo for the end of my first year of college!!!!
I think I've been doing really well on the whole not worrying thing so far. There have been a few things to test me, and I expected that to be the case. I'm a little concerned about an issue right now, but I'm going to let God take care of it. I think one of my biggest fears is hurting someone. I hate making mistakes, but I really hate it when my mistakes injure someone else. I can deal with hurt and pain, but I do not want to inflict it on anyone else. Sometimes it is almost necessary, however. The thing is, though, that the situation probably could have been avoided if I had not made a mistake in the first place. It's all one big nasty cycle. I'm glad summer is only one day away; I need a break.
This summer seems like it's going to be slow. I am working as a lifeguard again, but, just like last summer, I won't be working many hours. My summer will be filled with my workout for soccer, though. Other than those two things, I may be a little bored. I want to learn a lot of praise songs on the guitar, so I'll work on that. I could get some reading done, just for the heck of it. Going down to Memphis (and possibly Nashville) will be necessary to do some serious hanging out and having a blast.
I have one more final in ten minutes. It's Foundations of American Education, and I don't think I will do the greatest on it. I've not well on any of the other tests in that class to date. Ugh. I would love to pull out a B in there, but it may not happen. After my test, Mom and I are going to do some shopping in the Jackson area. I have birthday money, and I intend to use it...some of it, anyway. After that I will be headed home, probably to a big, long nap, cause I stayed up with Cheslie most of the night last night. We had planned on staying up all night, but that didn't happen. I think I slept about four or five hours. I'm not just dead tired yet, but I imagine that I will be. Woohoo for the end of my first year of college!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)