Monday, June 12, 2006


I can't relate. You're going through something that has to do with drinking? Sorry, can't help you. What about sex? Nope! Don't even get me started on drugs; I won't get anywhere.

It's not like I've never done anything wrong; total opposite. Well, not total opposite, because the total opposite would be that I have done everything wrong. That's not too far from the truth, but...ugh! I'm not doing very well with explaining this. There are different kinds of sin; I couldn't name off all of them or anything. I'm no expert. I do know that there are "physical" sins. I consider those to be things like drinking, having sex - things that harm/affect your body. Then there are I guess what you could call "mental" sins - dirty thoughts, I think. Ha. Think...anyway, I believe there could also be a category we will call "emotional" sins. I'm not exactly sure what would constitute an emotional sin, but I'm pretty sure I've committed it.

I guess one of the biggest sins I have committed/commit is what I call a "faith" sin. Does that make sense? I don't always have the faith I should in God. I don't know if that would fit into one of the aforementioned categories, but for the moment I am putting it in its own. I try to fix things; I want to help people with their problems, and I want to solve my own. It kills me when I can't do anything to alleviate someone else's suffering. However, that is NOT my place. It is God's. Who am I to think that I can do God's job? I don't believe it's a question of pride; well, maybe it is. My mind is made to be analytical; because of that, it is all set to look at a problem from every angle and deduct the best possible way of handling it. It absolutely frustrates me if I cannot find a solution. I think along the lines of, "I should be able to figure this out! Why is this so hard?" The answer is that I am not SUPPOSED to figure it out! God throws things in my way to get me to turn to HIM, not myself! I'm supposed to lean on Him when I am having trouble dealing with something; He can and wants to handle it. I just won't let Him do His job a lot. I'm working on that; it's definitely a learning process.

The main point I am trying to get across is this: I haven't been through a lot of serious things in my life when I look at what other people have gone through. However, you want to call me perfect? What you see as perfect is only skin deep. Would you be surprised to know that I have made the mistake of assuming I'm better than some people because I didn't fall for the same temptations that they did? What I didn't realize at the time is that they are impervious to a lot of the temptations that I succomb to daily. I am no better than anyone who has slept with twenty or more different people, who go out to drink every weekend, who get high every chance they get.

My confessed sin may not sound as bad as some others, but in God's eyes it is no different. And His eyes are the only ones that really matter.

1 comment:

  1. Preach it, girl! That's my sis, right there!