Back to School

I'm finally back to Union! It's so exciting to see everybody again. I probably won't be as excited tomorrow when classes start, even though there a couple that I think will be fun. I've missed being at school. I enjoyed my break, but by the end I was so ready to go back to school. This semester I definitely need to focus on studying; I have more classes than last semester. Well, I just wanted to drop a little note about getting back to Union. I've finished unpacking; my dorm is the cleanest it'll ever be this semester, I imagine. I'll try to keep it that way...we'll just see how long that lasts.

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My main concern these days is people doing stupid things. Come to think of it, that's usually my main concern. I have to admit I worry about it, even though I know worrying won't do any good. It hurts me to see (or know of) people doing things like drinking, smoking, having sex (before marriage, of course), and other similar activities. What is the point? The pleasure you get out of those things is only temporary. Why don't they see that? Does it even matter to them? I can't comprehend. I don't get it. I've realized a long time ago that preaching at everyone won't help. They'll only shut me out. Instead, I've chosen to live as an example, or do my best to be so, anyway. They know where I stand...is that enough? Sometimes I feel as though I'm not doing anything. Maybe I'm not, but then, maybe I am. There's no real way to know, is there? I guess there is purpose in that. I have to keep on following God and being a "good girl" in order to be an example, but I'll never really know how much of an impact I made. I have to trust in God to take care of that. Maybe if I did know I made a difference, my head would get too big. Lol. I guess I do make a difference, but, at times like these, it makes me wonder. I just don't know what to do with myself. I wish all stupidity would stop; however, that would just end humanity.

Idahoan Thoughts...

Snowboarding is hard. I'm sure that once you get the hang of it it's a blast. Right now, I'm not hanging on very well. There seems to be a blockage in my brain between, well, snowboarding and my brain. The "carving" is what seem to be the main problem. Turning my back towards the bottom of the mountain doesn't register in my mind for some reason. I got so frustrated yesterday. I knew I would be sore today; I thought I would just hurt all over from falling so much. I ended up being sore mainly in my neck and shoulders. My arms hurt as well - I know that's from pushing myself up so many times. Maybe I'll ski Monday, so I'll have a better day before I leave. Yesterday just left me in a bad mood. Oh, well. I'll have time to work on it....in Colorado.

Questions

My mind is constantly asking questions. They are questions that I cannot answer on my own. Most of them, anyway. My most recent recurring question is this: "What am I supposed to do with my talent?"

I love music. I love to sing, play guitar, and write songs. Writing songs allows me to tell people something that I just can't say outright. They are messages that I believe are given to me from God. I have these talents, and yet I am completely lost as to what I am to do with them. I told myself a long time ago that I was not going to be a professional music artist. The life itself did not appeal to me.

I'm so excited about teaching. I am almost certain that God has called me to be a teacher. The question revolves around how I can use my musical talent when I have become a high school teacher and hopefully soccer coach. We are given gifts by God to be used for His glory. Sometimes it is just unclear how to do so.

Like most people, I find it so difficult to just hand the reigns of my life over to God. His hands are the only ones worthy (or truly capable) of holding them. Why is that so hard to do? It should be the easiest thing in the world, considering it makes the most sense. He created us; he is the only one that deserves to be first in our lives. Who am I to be in control of my own life? All I will do is make a mess of it. That's all I have done so far. If I would just let go, things would be much less complicated. Things might not get better, but it would be so much easier. Now I'm just rambling....

A New Year

It's 2006. Another year. Each year it seems to get a little easier to accept that another year has come. Why is that? Maybe as you get older, life kind of comes in larger increments. When you're younger, each year is a big part of your life. As time goes on, life works in spaces of five years. Or maybe it goes by two or three instead of five, and eventually works up to five. Maybe I'm just full of it. Usually on New Year's, I evaluate my relationship with God over the whole year. Last year was a serious turning point. This year, I didn't feel like I really needed to do that. It's possible that I was fooling myself. However, I knew there were a couple of things I needed to work on. I think this year I'm planning on working on one fault at a time. Last year, my attitude was my problem. Attitude is not my problem this year. It's mainly smaller stuff. I've decided that God will show me what my most serious weaknesses are as they come along. Maybe He's been doing that all along. He probably has, I've just been too blind to see it. That happens quite often.

I know I need to keep in touch better with my friends....and family. I did a horrible job of that last semester. I'm not sure what my problem was, but I am going to fix it. I was busy; however, there is no excuse for not keeping in touch with the people I love the most.

On a completely different note, I'M GOING TO IDAHO IN A WEEK!!!! That's so exciting. I've missed Amy so much. I also love traveling, and I've never been to Idaho. It's going to be so much fun. Megan's going to be there as well. Tickets to Idaho: $315. Snowboarding, ice skating, hopefully sledding: Around $100 (roughly). Simply hanging out with a couple of my most awesome friends: Priceless.