Sunday, October 09, 2011

The Idea of Being

I was trying to fall asleep just a couple of minutes ago, when I started to think about the idea of being. By that I mean we as people being who we are - whomever that may be. My thoughts mainly focused around the idea of pigeonholing people. We like to think we have particular people figured out. For instance, I would love to say that I have completely figured out my husband. I believe I do know him quite well, but I could never know exactly who he is. And I wouldn't want to.

How could I not know after fifty years of marriage (when that comes) who precisely my husband is? It keeps changing. Yes, he constantly changes his mind, but I mean that who he is is always changing, influenced by education, interactions, experiences, opportunities, all of that. Furthermore, I'll still be discovering things about myself fifty years down the road; there's no way I could have both him and me figured out at any point in life.

Being in a counseling program requires that you learn a lot about yourself, as I'm sure I've mentioned before. It's been really easy for me to focus on the negative things I have learned, especially since I'm trying to improve my weaknesses as a counselor. Lately, however, I've noticed more positive things. I'm discovering new things about myself that have me a little excited - and surprised. It's not that these new things are so exciting in themselves; it's that I'm understanding myself better and seeing more clearly who I am. And who I am is someone who likes to know people

As I said above, we like to think we have particular people figured out. Whether it's the elderly church lady you've known for twenty years or the guy down the street that was arrested for drug possession, we think we know what to expect out of people. It's easier that way, isn't it? If we know who they are, we don't have to make an effort to change that perception. It's easy to put people in a box and throw away the key, because jumping in the box with them is just too damn scary.

The excitement I'm feeling about discovering new things about myself is worth the pain of finding out things I don't like. Thinking that I'm one thing and finding out I'm something else entirely is scary. I've certainly ran away from discovering things about myself before, and I'm absolutely sure that I'm not alone in that.

But I love being surprised. I love it when someone reveals something new about themselves to me. I love finding out that my perception was wrong. Yes, it can be difficult and disorienting, but to me it's worth the price of getting to know people.

I've always had this desire to blow people's minds. I want to show you who I am, but I really want to show you that I'm not who you think I am. I'm different. I'm someone who thinks everyone is different. I'm someone who relishes that idea and can't wait to see more of it. I'm the person that will punch through the walls of your box if I have to - if you'll let me - and let the light in. I want to see you.

9 comments:

  1. Cool Spot! :)
    I like your Blog! And i will coem back soon!
    http://thats-pure-love.blogspot.com/
    look at mine ;)
    Verena

    ReplyDelete
  2. A very Interesting article about different mentalities of the people.

    android chat application

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your blog!

    A Writer's Nakama
    http://writing-1234.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. True story... I never actually realized this until I stumbled upon your blog and saw this post. I'm gonna subscribe! :) And thank you for posting this and helping me understand people more.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi,
    I'm just sharing my friends malaysia travel website. Hope you my give a helping hand to share. They want traffic to the website
    http://www.tracyling.com
    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  6. Glad to read your post :). It is very informative!
    Iftekhar Ahmed

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your article is very useful and have good knowledge, thanks for the post.
    DMP

    ReplyDelete
  8. Very value able post, I read the whole story when I start reading it.
    FOG

    ReplyDelete
  9. I appreciate your blog post, beautifully expressed and well written.
    Radiator Covers UK

    ReplyDelete