Saturday, December 24, 2005

It's Almost Christmas!!!

It's Christmas Eve...and I can't believe it. Ah. I love Christmas. I am very excited about giving people their gifts: one in particular.

So, I'm ecstatic about it being Christmas; however, one of the girls on Union's soccer team is in the hospital. They found a brain tumor on the 22nd that had been growing for six weeks. The doctors thought it looked benign, but they decided to go and perform surgery. It happened yesterday, the 23rd. The surgery went really well, but they discovered that the tumor is the size of a golf ball. It is also located in her brain, not on the surface as was originally thought.

I first learned about this when my roommate and teammate Emily called me Thursday night. When she told me that Nikki had a brain tumor, I just stood there and cried. I couldn't (and still can't) fathom what it felt like to Nikki and her family to find out about this. She had compartment syndrome this season like I did, although hers was acute and not chronic. My point is, she messed with that all season, and now this comes along. She was finally getting over her surgery for the compartment syndrome. Now she may have permanent damage to her left side. At one point, I considered the fact that the compartment syndrome might prevent me from playing soccer ever again. This, however, is a completely different ball game. This won't just affect soccer; it will affect her whole life. Please pray for her. The whole soccer team has been informed, and I know we will pray for her every day until this is over. Who knows when that will be except God?

Friday, December 09, 2005

To Be Needed

This morning I woke up and felt like I needed to turn on my cell phone. I usually don't turn it on until about five minutes before class, so that was different for me. I turn it on, and lo and behold, I have a text message. It's from Amy: "Help. Can u come upstairs?" My first thought was maybe she needed help with some homework or something to that effect. I had decided last night not to wake up until about thirty minutes before class; skip the shower. I was putting on clothes when Amy called me. I told her that I was just putting on clothes and would be there in two minutes. I began to get a little worried. I knew she had an eight o'clock class; it was almost nine.

I went upstairs to find her laying in bed, sick. She had been throwing up since six that morning. While she was in the bathroom, I called Mom to see what I needed to do. Sprite, crackers, and chicken noodle soup were the prescriptions. Mom and Amy both insisted that I go to my only class that morning at 9:25. It is the week before finals, and this would be my last class before my final on Tuesday. Reluctanty, I left for class.

When I got back, Amy was asleep. I took the chance to go to Walmart and pick Sprite and soup. The rest of the day I stayed in their room, taking care of Amy, and sleeping on the LoveSac (I love that thing, by the way). I hated that Amy was sick, and I felt bad for her. However, the whole time, I was glad that I could help. I was glad that she called me to take care of her. I was be needed.

I was writing in my prayer journal tonight about the day, when I realized something. I think everyone wants to be needed. It's one of those basic human instincts, I guess. It feels great to be there for someone. Now, I realize that not everyone would do everything they could to help someone, because not all people are willing to do things like that. They may not consider it worth their time. I, personally, consider it very worth my time to help someone that needs it. I hate being in situations when I feel like someone doesn't want me there. That is almost a fear of mine.

While I was thinking about the fact that I love to be needed, it hit me that God wants to be needed. Every human being needs God, but not every human being realizes that. Sometimes it's hard to admit you need someone; not until you have hit rock bottom and have no other way of getting back up. God is needed, but people need to respond to that need. That's where the problems begin. How many times have you said, "Don't worry, I got it." or, "I don't need your help."? We do need help. We do need God.

It's so hard for me to let God handle my life. I want to do it on my own. Even when I tell God to take over, I find myself slowly taking control again. Why do I do that? Why do we do that? Why is it so hard to let someone else take the wheel for a little while? Those license plates, bumper stickers, etc. that say, "God is my co-pilot" are incorrect. If God is your co-pilot, is He just the back-up plan if you go down? Is that all He is to you? That's putting Him in second place, somewhere He definitely does not belong. He should be in the pilot seat, first place.

To be needed is everything. God is everything. Or, rather, He should be everything to you. You know how it feels to be needed and to be able to fulfill that need...

Just imagine how God feels when so many people need Him, and so few accept Him.

Monday, December 05, 2005

So, I was told that I needed to update my blog, because I haven't put up anything in a while. It's good to know that someone cares......ha, just joking.

This weekend Amy and I stayed at my house. It was good to do a whole lot of nothing. We did watch four movies, decorated the Christmas tree (well, Amy slept through that...), went to a living nativity, made cookies, went to church, and ate lunch at Mama Jo's. I loved it. I love Christmas. I can't believe it's so close! It's crazy to think that in twenty-one days (technically twenty) it will be Christmas. Wow.

You know what? My family is amazing. I love them all to death. For example, Mom, Amy, and I watched a movie Saturday night. It was over around eleven or midnight, but we had planned to make the cookies. Mom did not complain about staying up later and helping us. She just does stuff like that all the time. Sometimes I'm an idiot, and I take my family for granted. By the way, Mom: I meant to tell you that I'm sorry I haven't called you a lot. You don't know how much it means to me that you respect me enough to wait for me to call you, and I haven't done that at all. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. I was being stupid. I know you'll forgive me, cause you've done that countless times before. I love you, and I thank God for you.

I love all of you.