That never in my life have I been more frustrated at a class. I swear, I look at one problem on a Calculus II quiz, and my brain interprets it as a foreign language I could never deign to understand. Check that - there isn't even any interpretation involved, because that would mean I actually comprehended even just one iota of it - which I don't! I regret that I ever changed my major to engineering for that one blasted brain fart of a semester when I thought I might want to be an architect and being an engineering major at Union was the best path for me to attain that goal. I also regret being a complete IDIOT and not learning Calculus in the first place when I took Calc I online last summer, therefore screwing me over when I took Calc II fall semester at Union - where I failed miserably. I prayed to God that He would allow me to just make the minimum grade I need in order to make a C in this class and have that F erased from my transcript, but I won't be mad at anyone but myself if it doesn't happen. Why? Because I have no one else to blame. Because I decided innumerable times that my time would be better spent watching movies, reading novels, hanging out with people, etc. than studying for Calculus.
So for now I'm ranting at myself on my own blog, hoping it might make me feel minutely better about my final tomorrow and the distinct possibility of failing Calculus II AGAIN and wasting my parents' money on - well, a wasted effort to make my transcript look better. I'm sorry for that, by the way. It will also be a waste of ten weeks of stress, pure frustration, and ridiculous tears on my part.
Nevertheless, there are twenty questions standing between me and making a C. I pray that God does whatever He wants with me, and I live and learn from the whole thing.