Sunday, April 09, 2006

Eight Scars and a Funeral

Wednesday I went back to classes; I was so glad for that. Mom had to drive me back and forth, but it worked out pretty well. I'm getting back on campus tonight; I'm excited about that. My stitches come out Thursday. It was supposed to happen two weeks after surgery, but that would be Good Friday. They are out of the office on that day, so I am getting to go Thursday instead. One less day...I'm okay with that. I'm great with that. Friday my legs started feeling better, and I could actually see the bones in my ankles!! They've been swollen, so it is quite an ordeal. They've continued to improve since then, so I'm very happy.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a text message from Mom. It said, "Im at ma jos." For those of you that might be confused (not many, I think, but anyway), Mom said that she was at Mama Jo's, my grandmother's. I texted back, "Ok." She called me, and the first thing she said was, "Aunt Janice is dead." I was in bed when this happened, and I shot straight up and said, "What?!" She said that Uncle Jimmy found her that morning, they didn't know exactly what killed her, and she was trying to find Mama Jo. I was just in shock; Aunt Janice was in bad health, but she wasn't that old. She was my great aunt. It was really surreal. The whole day was weird. The phone was ringing off the hook, several people stopped by, and I was just chilling on the couch watching everything.

Somehow the hours flew by; that doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's the way it was. Decisions about the funeral and visitation had to be made, and flowers had to be bought. In such a small community, the news spread like crazy. People kept calling to make sure it was true or to give their condolences. We had quite a lot of people in our house, at one point in particular. Today we have visitation, and the funeral is tomorrow. I'll have to be brought back from school to go. Right now I'm at home; I'm going with Dad and Kellen around five. Aunt Lavon will probably be the one to drive me to school tonight. Mom said she would pick me up tomorrow from school. Then I have to get back after the funeral to go to YoungLife Club. Crazy, crazy stuff.

Life for me is never "normal," but I feel like it's just really out of whack now. Not being able to walk (without help) kind of messes with your perception...haha. Yesterday just threw it into more chaos. I like chaos, in some strange way. Some types of chaos are way better than others, but every type happens at at least one point in everyone's lives. Life is chaos. This paragraph is chaos. Haha. Anyway, enough rambling. Seriously, though, enjoy chaos every once in a while. Especially when a lot of stuff is happening; it may not be all good, but it makes you appreciate life. I may be a rare case, but I think that sometimes when life is really busy for me is when I appreciate it the most. Maybe it's because when I have a lot of free time and time to think, I tend to get into self-pity and self-degredation stuff. I tend to have fun when a lot of stuff is going on, and I just jump from one thing to the next. I'm planning every minute in a way that will be most efficient. Now, I can't take being consumed with stuff for a very long time. I just enjoy having things to do, people to see, goals to accomplish. It feels so good when you know you're getting something done.

I don't know if any of that made a lot of sense, but you know what?

That's okay.

1 comment:

  1. Haha!! Yes, it is. I totally get what you are saying. I know how much you like your chaos. Accomplishments are nice too. I'm sorry about your Great Aunt, and I am praying for you and your family. Congrats on getting back to school... or at least, campus. I know that will make your life a lot more chaotic, and fun consequentially. You are awesome!