IT'S CHRISTMAS! Okay, it's not technically Christmas yet, but it's close enough. For...saying IT'S CHRISTMAS! Just leave me be and let me be happy. :) I'm just glad Christmas is finally here, because it felt so far away. But now it'll be over so soon. Ugh. Another one come and gone.
Anyway, I'm not really going anywhere with this; I just wanted to say: Merry Christmas! I pray that everyone has a great Christmas and gets to spend a lot of time with their families with minimal stress and/or crying. Except crying with happiness. Right.
God bless all of you! I love you!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I'm Still Here
Beat me down
Lie to my face
Turn your back
I’ll still be here
You can question me
Second guess my faith
Avoid me like a plague
I’ll still be here
Swore you were always true
Destroyed my trust
I was still here
You got sick of me
Turned me away
We’re okay now cause
I was still here
You left me behind
Traded me for others
While wondering if you care
I’m still here
Make up your mind
Or follow your gut
Whichever path you choose
I’m still here
Call me a loyal fool
Call me sentimental
Maybe one day you’ll need me
Maybe that day is today
I’m still here
Monday, December 18, 2006
The Results Are In! And My Love Language Is...
Physical Touch!!! Who knew it? Eh? Eh? Haha. Yeah, so I started and completed The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman today. Yes, I am a bookworm. It was a very good read; I suggest it for everybody. It's good to know. I did not know until after I read it (as I was skimming through the last pages which consisted of ads for other books) that there was a version for us single folk. I read the marriage version. Doesn't change the fact that it was majorly informative. I'll probably get the singles version and read that one as well. Why not?
Anyway, if you've never read the book, heard anyone talk about it, or are totally lost, I'll give you the basics. Everybody has a love language; something that speaks to their personal emotional needs and makes them feel truly loved. If you do not speak your spouse's love language, he/she may feel rejected and unloved (this is the married version, mind you). The five love languages are: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. Quality Time: You want to spend time with your significant other and really talk, not just be in the same room. Acts of Service: You feel loved when he/she does things - big and small - for you without being asked and especially if you know they would normally never do those things - unless they truly loved you. Receiving Gifts: When you get gifts, your desire to feel loved is fulfilled; they don't have to be expensive - it is the thought that matters. Words of Affirmation: You need to be complimented, told how much you are appreciated, and be encouraged constantly in order to feel loved. Physical Touch: That's a no-brainer; whether it's a hug, a kiss, holding hands, cuddling, or even a brush of the hand when he/she passes by, you need it to feel that he/she loves you.
Of course, the book goes into much greater detail and gives tips on speaking the other's love language if it is not your "primary" love language. As I read through each language, I obviously pondered whether or not it was my primary one. Quality Time is a big deal to me, for sure. I knew that Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Words of Affirmation were definitely not it. I enjoy having things done for me sometimes; and who doesn't like getting gifts? I just wouldn't like it all the time. Not really. Words of Affirmation...I have always felt kind of uncomfortable when people complimented me a lot about something. Don't get me wrong; I love being complimented (duh). It's just not me. I got to Physical Touch, and I was sold. Haha. I took the test at the end and got the highest score possible towards Physical Touch. Quality Time was second, with the others quite far behind.
So, that's why I'm a hugger. And a dang good one at that...that's what I've been told, anyway. ;) One of the things I've gotten from being home is a lot of affection. My family - particularly my mom's side - are all touchy-feely...I love it! Papa Joe is awesome; today I took a nap in the recliner with him. Haha. So great. I think things like that are the reason Physical Touch is my primary love language, although I'm not sure how much a person's raising has to do with it. Dr. Chapman (the author/psychologist) talked a little about how children have love languages as well. Once again, everyone needs to read that book if they haven't already. If you have, I would love to know what your love language is. Just for personal knowledge. ;) Maybe you already know!
Yes, I am a dork, but you love me. And if you love me, you'll give me a hug! ;) ;) ;)
Anyway, if you've never read the book, heard anyone talk about it, or are totally lost, I'll give you the basics. Everybody has a love language; something that speaks to their personal emotional needs and makes them feel truly loved. If you do not speak your spouse's love language, he/she may feel rejected and unloved (this is the married version, mind you). The five love languages are: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. Quality Time: You want to spend time with your significant other and really talk, not just be in the same room. Acts of Service: You feel loved when he/she does things - big and small - for you without being asked and especially if you know they would normally never do those things - unless they truly loved you. Receiving Gifts: When you get gifts, your desire to feel loved is fulfilled; they don't have to be expensive - it is the thought that matters. Words of Affirmation: You need to be complimented, told how much you are appreciated, and be encouraged constantly in order to feel loved. Physical Touch: That's a no-brainer; whether it's a hug, a kiss, holding hands, cuddling, or even a brush of the hand when he/she passes by, you need it to feel that he/she loves you.
Of course, the book goes into much greater detail and gives tips on speaking the other's love language if it is not your "primary" love language. As I read through each language, I obviously pondered whether or not it was my primary one. Quality Time is a big deal to me, for sure. I knew that Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Words of Affirmation were definitely not it. I enjoy having things done for me sometimes; and who doesn't like getting gifts? I just wouldn't like it all the time. Not really. Words of Affirmation...I have always felt kind of uncomfortable when people complimented me a lot about something. Don't get me wrong; I love being complimented (duh). It's just not me. I got to Physical Touch, and I was sold. Haha. I took the test at the end and got the highest score possible towards Physical Touch. Quality Time was second, with the others quite far behind.
So, that's why I'm a hugger. And a dang good one at that...that's what I've been told, anyway. ;) One of the things I've gotten from being home is a lot of affection. My family - particularly my mom's side - are all touchy-feely...I love it! Papa Joe is awesome; today I took a nap in the recliner with him. Haha. So great. I think things like that are the reason Physical Touch is my primary love language, although I'm not sure how much a person's raising has to do with it. Dr. Chapman (the author/psychologist) talked a little about how children have love languages as well. Once again, everyone needs to read that book if they haven't already. If you have, I would love to know what your love language is. Just for personal knowledge. ;) Maybe you already know!
Yes, I am a dork, but you love me. And if you love me, you'll give me a hug! ;) ;) ;)
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Coming Home
For the last two weeks - or more, really - I have been SO ready to come home. I've never been like that. It wasn't what you would call homesickness; it was being sick of where I was. Too much crap was going on, and I was ready to get away from it. However, today when I was getting ready to go, I felt reluctant to leave. What on earth?! How does that make sense?
I just get so dadgum emotionally connected to places and people. Especially people. It's another negative aspect of being an overly emotional being. For example, a few years ago I was betrayed by my best friend - whom I had been friends with since preschool. I did not deal well with having my trust in her destroyed. Who would? So for the longest time after I confronted her, we didn't really talk and definitely didn't hang out. However, during the summer, her mother asked to talk to me, and she told me that her daughter, my friend, needed me. She said things like, "You're a good influence on her," and "Y'all have been friends too long to just let it go." Or something like that. Anyway, I ended up going to see the girl. We eventually became okay (we still are), but we never again became that close. Of course, I didn't trust her enough to tell her a whole lot. And she's one of those people that holds everything in anyway.
Someone else who hurt me was obviously having a hard time, and I so badly wanted to ask her what was wrong. I knew that wouldn't fly. Or I didn't want to admit that I cared that much. But I do. And it's annoying.
As much resentment as I have felt towards so many people at school, I am STILL emotionally connected. And it will stay that way. Eventually it will get better, and I won't think about it so much; but it will still be there. I don't forget this kind of stuff. I wish I could. Things would be so much easier if I could. But things are never easy. We make them hard. I know I do, but so much of it is ingrained in me. I can't help it.
It doesn't help that I may still be working on the forgive part.
I just get so dadgum emotionally connected to places and people. Especially people. It's another negative aspect of being an overly emotional being. For example, a few years ago I was betrayed by my best friend - whom I had been friends with since preschool. I did not deal well with having my trust in her destroyed. Who would? So for the longest time after I confronted her, we didn't really talk and definitely didn't hang out. However, during the summer, her mother asked to talk to me, and she told me that her daughter, my friend, needed me. She said things like, "You're a good influence on her," and "Y'all have been friends too long to just let it go." Or something like that. Anyway, I ended up going to see the girl. We eventually became okay (we still are), but we never again became that close. Of course, I didn't trust her enough to tell her a whole lot. And she's one of those people that holds everything in anyway.
Someone else who hurt me was obviously having a hard time, and I so badly wanted to ask her what was wrong. I knew that wouldn't fly. Or I didn't want to admit that I cared that much. But I do. And it's annoying.
As much resentment as I have felt towards so many people at school, I am STILL emotionally connected. And it will stay that way. Eventually it will get better, and I won't think about it so much; but it will still be there. I don't forget this kind of stuff. I wish I could. Things would be so much easier if I could. But things are never easy. We make them hard. I know I do, but so much of it is ingrained in me. I can't help it.
It doesn't help that I may still be working on the forgive part.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
My Poetry
Flowers and dewdrops
Mystical rains
Images hidden
Behind perfect words
No
Broken hearts with tears
Shards of glass
Pain and happiness
Thrown in your face
Simple to read
Hard to swallow
This poetry of mine
Are you willing to follow?
Mystical rains
Images hidden
Behind perfect words
No
Broken hearts with tears
Shards of glass
Pain and happiness
Thrown in your face
Simple to read
Hard to swallow
This poetry of mine
Are you willing to follow?
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