Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Growing Up

Ethan Cole Duncan has entered into the world! Cynthia had him about 2:30 this afternoon. I got to see both mother and baby soon after. It is amazing. HE is amazing. He's six pounds, ten ounces, and twenty and a half inches long with practically a head full of black hair and big feet. Haha. I got to hold him, too.

I was with Cynthia in the labor and delivery room yesterday afternoon. She was having minor contractions as I talked to her. And while I was in there, I thought: "How did we get here?" I mean, how did we get from worrying about prom and graduation to having kids? Don't freak out, I'm not having kids...yet. Cynthia and I graduated together, for those of you who weren't aware of that. Since when are we old enough to start families? Since when are we adults? I don't consider myself to be an adult; I turn twenty in ONE WEEK, and I am anxious about it. Seriously, I am a little nervous. And I'm not even sure why! I'm getting older. It just keeps hitting me. I'm supposed to be "grown up", and half the time I don't even know what that means! What does it mean? Getting married, having kids, having a job, paying taxes? Honestly, it scares me. I feel so...unprepared. Like I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Of course, most of the time I'm pretty sure I don't.

However, I am kind of looking forward to it. I want to get married, definitely. And watching Cynthia over the last two days really made me think about the (possible) day that I'll be in her spot. That's absolutely scary to think about, but also quite invigorating. I can't explain it. I want to have children; I have no doubts about that. As for the job and taxes, those can wait. ;)

As I stood in the hospital room with Cynthia, Ethan, and their family, I began to cry. I'm overly emotional, as you probably know, so this is not unusual. Seeing Cynthia holding this brand new life was just unbelievable. I'm not quite sure I believe it yet. As I texted to Mom and told Cynthia, it was just crazy.

So, this growing up thing is scary and exciting at the same time. I just hope I figure out what I'm doing as I get older.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:06 AM

    It's scary for me too-ya all growing up. But you'll figure it all out and you will be a great mother. It was so sweet yesterday seeing you hold little Ethan. He's so precious! It was obvious that you were enjoying every minute.
    Love you lots,