Thursday, April 12, 2007

The Best Friend

When I was really young, I would sometimes wish for a friend that didn't talk. All he or she would do would be to listen to what I had to say, without interrupting me. I wanted someone to hear my thoughts; I could talk and talk and never stop. Now, I was a pretty quiet kid. I didn't talk as much as my brother, who could never seem to shut up. Lol. We've kind of switched now, but that's how it was back then. I guess I just had all this stuff to say that I didn't think people would understand or want to hear, so I held back and restrained my words.

These days, I don't wish for that. That would be boring. I could talk to myself all day long, but where would that get me? I realize now how that wish was a little ridiculous, but, come on - I was just a kid! Sometimes I still feel like a kid, though. Sometimes I remember that time and wonder what that would be like. Things get to accumulating in my head, and I want to just ramble on about everything that flits through my mind. Writing it takes too long - not if I want to get it all down. And it's not that I just want to get it out; I actually want people to hear it. I doubt that it would make much sense, though. I always do, I am digressing. I will continue on my original path now...

Now my desire is to have a friend that shares his/her life with me. It's a mutual thing; it's not just me talking about what's going on in my life. I want to hear about the other person's life, too. And, thankfully, I have at least one friend with whom that happens. Which is great. However, we don't have the chance to spend a lot of time together, and we miss out on a lot in each other's lives. As a result, it's not an ideal situation.

But what if there is someone who can be the perfect best friend? Someone who has seen everything you've been through, and is there in every moment of your life? Someone who can read your mind - even better than you can? If you haven't figured out who I'm talking about, I'm talking about Jesus.

When you meet new people and become friends with them, no matter how close you get to them there are pieces of your life that they just haven't shared with you. They may know about your past, but it's what you've told them, not what they've been through with you. They didn't truly see the effect things had on you, how different you used to be. How different you are now. I've found myself wishing that some of my newer friends could have seen me before - before I got to college, before I grew up in a way, before I was this damaged. I wonder how they would look at me now if they knew my past. Would it change anything? I don't know. But I wonder.

There are moments in your life when you experience ultimate joy or depressing sadness, and you wish that your best friend was there to share it with you or help you through. Describing it to them later just doesn't cut it. They had to have been there.

Jesus was there in my past. He is here in my present. And, of course, He'll be there in my future. He has seen everything I've been through and knows how it affected me - much better than I myself understand. Every moment of every day, He is here. Countless times I take this for granted. I take it for granted more than I even think about it. Honestly, I think I don't get it. I can't really grasp the idea of Him being by my side constantly. Can you? The only experience we have with someone "being there" is with people who come and go; we can't comprehend an eternal presence beside and inside us. It's beyond our understanding.

On to another part of this: When I was having a hard time last semester, I shut myself off from basically everybody. I felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to and didn't really feel like talking to anyone. Because of that, I felt as though I didn't have any friends. Then I would think, "I have God." But that thought actually did nothing but make me sad. Why? Because I wanted someone who would also talk to me and tell me about themselves. Sure, I could talk to God all day, but I didn't believe I would get a response. I didn't expect to. That was my mistake.

God does respond. And He does tell us about Himself...if we listen. I have to confess that I still am VERY inexperienced in this area and have no clue how to go about it. I just know that it happens. I thought God couldn't be my "best friend" because He wouldn't share Himself with me, but I was oh so wrong! We go through hard times in life, because we have to learn to lean on Him. When we do so, He brings us close to His heart and shows us the lesson in the fire. He gives us a way to grow and mature - in Him. Jesus has been on this earth, and He knows how it is. Why do we continuously forget that? I know I do. One more thing I take for granted, among so many others. He does share Himself with us, because He shows us how limitless His mercy, grace, and love are.

So, in essence: Jesus is the perfect best friend. He is perfect, after all. And, of course, there is that little fact that...

He is God.


  1. Bombin' you, girl! You make me so proud. Where did you come from? lol.

  2. Anonymous12:34 PM

    All I can say is "So True". Love you lots, Mom