My New Career

This past week, Mom and I flew to Washington to visit Lauren and see some grad schools.  I was excited to see Lauren's house, since the last and only time I'd seen it all I got to see was the outside, since she hadn't finalized the purchase yet and therefore had no keys.  Her house is awesome; it's basically two stories with a loft.  The stairs leading from the first floor to the second are pretty creaky, I soon discovered.  When I mentioned this to Mom Thursday morning as we were preparing to leave, she said, "Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to be sneaking up on you going up those stairs."  Being me, I had pretty quickly figured out that if you skip every other step, you can get around the loudness.  I tried it out, and sure enough it worked pretty well.  When I pointed this out to Mom, she had to try it.  After she tried it and realized I was right, she stated, "You would make a good criminal."

That's what moms do, right?  She opened up a whole new door for me!  Thanks, Mom!  :D

As for other funny stories, there are several from this trip.

Mom and I were boarding a plane, and in front of us there was a mother and her two children.  It was a boy and girl, probably around 5 and 6.  They started messing with each other, of course, and the mother said, "Stop touching each other!  Hands to yourselves."  The kids calmed down for a minute.  Then the boy reached out with his hand like half a foot from the little girl, and the girl said, "Too close!"  That's much more accurate than, "He's touching me!!"

On our way to Seattle Saturday morning, we stopped and got coffee and hot chocolate.  I got hot chocolate, of course, and told Mom she could just have some of mine instead of getting her own.  Her reaction when she tried it was, "This tastes like a melted milkshake."  What a revelation!  Who woulda thunk it?

Funny, but more sad...  Mom and I were in a Jack in the Box eating.  First of all, they had an automated machine to take your order.  I mean, you enter your order into this machine, and then someone brings out from the back.  Great idea - kill more jobs.  Anyway, we had gotten our food and were in the process of eating.  I saw this guy standing outside, and could pretty much guess from first glance that he was homeless.  He comes in and decides to stop at our table on his way to the counter.  He started talking about how there were a ton of chuck wagons outside, and we should unhitch all the horses and hitch them together.  We both just kind of smiled and nodded, and he moved on to the counter.  After he got coffee - no food, just coffee - he sat at the table that was on the other side of the wall from us.  The wall was short enough to only reach my shoulder sitting.  He once again started talking about wagons:  "I saw you pull in, I pulled in right behind you.  We just went down south, and everything's flooded!  Completely flooded!  Thank you, have a good day.  But then we went up north, and it's sunshine.  All clear.  Thank you, have a good day."  Interesting...  It definitely made me wonder where he came from and what happened to him. 

There were other stories, but that's all I have at the moment.  :)

Reporting Fail

Really?  It's a wreck?  I wasn't sure, because I thought maybe this was a picture of a bad parking job.  I mean, anyone who parks like that deserves to get towed.

Good job, Jackson Sun.

Funny Funny - Cause there's two of them.

First story:

I was driving to meet Ryan at Don Pancho's for lunch, and I came to the light where you get on Vann Drive off the bypass. At the corner was a homeless man, with the typical sign. I do have to give it to him; the sign asked for work, not money. Anyway, I had to sit at the light while waiting for a green, and just happened to see the man pick up a bag of food and sit it behind his backpack - trying to hide it from us possible benefactors. The bag was one of those to-go things, with the styrofoam box and everything. This alone tickles me. It's when he also picks up his drink to hide it and I see the Longhorn Steakhouse name and logo that I really find it funny.

Second story:

This is one of those moments when I really wished I thought quicker. I was checking out at Dollar General with just two items. The cashier rings them up, and I start to swipe my card when the older woman goes, "Ooh, honey, don't you want to buy one more thing??" I have no idea what she's talking about until I look at my total: $6.66. I tell her that I'll be okay, I don't need anything else. What I should have said was this: "Well, if Satan is going to get me through a six-pack of Cottonelle toilet paper and a Jimmy Dean's Breakfast Bowl, I just might let him take me purely on the basis of his creativity."

Here's to Punctuality

This guy was supposed to be in my office this morning, but thankfully I got here before Mr. Cranford, who is responsible for such pranks.

One of my Moments of Stupidity

Yes, just one of them. So I got my ears pierced about a week and a half ago. This is the second time I've tried this; the first time was when I was about twelve, I think. Less than a week after I got it done (the first time), Kellen and I were wrestling and one of the earrings was knocked out. I decided to take both out and then put them back in later. I forgot about them until the next morning, when Mom helped me painfully put them back in. Unfortunately, my ears got extremely infected and I had to take out the earrings and let them completely heal. After that ordeal I wasn't real keen on trying it again.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I felt like it was time I tried for pierced ears again. No biggie, just a little pain and getting used to the sight of me with pierced ears.

Well, this morning I was a genius and decided to see if I could take an earring out and put it back in. Now, I had tried taking it out right after I had a shower so that I could towel dry my hair the way I usually did - the piercing had gotten in the way of that. I couldn't take it out then, probably because my hands and the earring were still wet. At this point my hair was dry, so I decided to try it again while I was looking at my closet trying to decide what to wear.

Oh, it came out alright. The problem was getting it back in.

I got it in, but could not for the life of me find the hole in the back to get it all the way through. It hurt, and I was getting upset imagining another infection coming on if I didn't get it back in in the next like five minutes. By the time I called my mom (I'm not sure what I thought she would do, really - I had to be at work in less time than it would take her to get there), I was really worked up. I was so worked up, in fact, that I almost passed out. Literally. I mean, I was pale as death, cold sweating, everything. I sat on the floor because I felt like I would fall there if I didn't. Another problem was that I hadn't eaten breakfast, which was obviously contributing to my desire to pass out.

I finally got enough strength to go to the kitchen and quickly eat some breakfast. Mom and I decided that it would be best if I just waited until I got to work and let someone else put it in, because I apparently wasn't going to be able to do it. I made it to work and asked one of the women to put it back in, explaining my stupid move. Thankfully, I didn't even really feel it when she pushed it through. I'm just praying now that it doesn't get infected and cause a lot of issues. I brought disinfectant, and I am utilizing it.

So there is just one of my moments of stupidity. Believe me, I am not taking another earring out for another month at the least.

This is one of the reasons why I don't want to mess with beauty stuff - it always bites me back when I don't get it right.