Funny Funny - Cause there's two of them.

First story:

I was driving to meet Ryan at Don Pancho's for lunch, and I came to the light where you get on Vann Drive off the bypass. At the corner was a homeless man, with the typical sign. I do have to give it to him; the sign asked for work, not money. Anyway, I had to sit at the light while waiting for a green, and just happened to see the man pick up a bag of food and sit it behind his backpack - trying to hide it from us possible benefactors. The bag was one of those to-go things, with the styrofoam box and everything. This alone tickles me. It's when he also picks up his drink to hide it and I see the Longhorn Steakhouse name and logo that I really find it funny.

Second story:

This is one of those moments when I really wished I thought quicker. I was checking out at Dollar General with just two items. The cashier rings them up, and I start to swipe my card when the older woman goes, "Ooh, honey, don't you want to buy one more thing??" I have no idea what she's talking about until I look at my total: $6.66. I tell her that I'll be okay, I don't need anything else. What I should have said was this: "Well, if Satan is going to get me through a six-pack of Cottonelle toilet paper and a Jimmy Dean's Breakfast Bowl, I just might let him take me purely on the basis of his creativity."

Here's to Punctuality

This guy was supposed to be in my office this morning, but thankfully I got here before Mr. Cranford, who is responsible for such pranks.

One of my Moments of Stupidity

Yes, just one of them. So I got my ears pierced about a week and a half ago. This is the second time I've tried this; the first time was when I was about twelve, I think. Less than a week after I got it done (the first time), Kellen and I were wrestling and one of the earrings was knocked out. I decided to take both out and then put them back in later. I forgot about them until the next morning, when Mom helped me painfully put them back in. Unfortunately, my ears got extremely infected and I had to take out the earrings and let them completely heal. After that ordeal I wasn't real keen on trying it again.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I felt like it was time I tried for pierced ears again. No biggie, just a little pain and getting used to the sight of me with pierced ears.

Well, this morning I was a genius and decided to see if I could take an earring out and put it back in. Now, I had tried taking it out right after I had a shower so that I could towel dry my hair the way I usually did - the piercing had gotten in the way of that. I couldn't take it out then, probably because my hands and the earring were still wet. At this point my hair was dry, so I decided to try it again while I was looking at my closet trying to decide what to wear.

Oh, it came out alright. The problem was getting it back in.

I got it in, but could not for the life of me find the hole in the back to get it all the way through. It hurt, and I was getting upset imagining another infection coming on if I didn't get it back in in the next like five minutes. By the time I called my mom (I'm not sure what I thought she would do, really - I had to be at work in less time than it would take her to get there), I was really worked up. I was so worked up, in fact, that I almost passed out. Literally. I mean, I was pale as death, cold sweating, everything. I sat on the floor because I felt like I would fall there if I didn't. Another problem was that I hadn't eaten breakfast, which was obviously contributing to my desire to pass out.

I finally got enough strength to go to the kitchen and quickly eat some breakfast. Mom and I decided that it would be best if I just waited until I got to work and let someone else put it in, because I apparently wasn't going to be able to do it. I made it to work and asked one of the women to put it back in, explaining my stupid move. Thankfully, I didn't even really feel it when she pushed it through. I'm just praying now that it doesn't get infected and cause a lot of issues. I brought disinfectant, and I am utilizing it.

So there is just one of my moments of stupidity. Believe me, I am not taking another earring out for another month at the least.

This is one of the reasons why I don't want to mess with beauty stuff - it always bites me back when I don't get it right.

Parenting?

Before you freak out, let me just preface this with the statement that I am NOT pregnant nor am I anywhere near being so. No worries there. I just wanted to clear that up.

Ryan and I are in a community group through Fellowship Bible Church, the church we attend in Jackson. With the exception of us and two single ladies, it's all married couples. I don't find that weird or intimidating at all; I think it's fun to see how their relationships work, and I get the feeling that we're kind of in a marital counseling group - which appeals to my future-counseling-career self. Anyway, the study we're doing is Fearless, by Max Lucado. We're only one lesson in, but last night we started big with talking about our biggest fears. All the married couples have at least one kid, and as a result every one of their fears had something to do with their kids. Mostly they feared losing their kids, their kids suffering serious injuries, dying before their kids had grown up, or their kids being abducted. One father said that one of his greatest fears was what his son would get into, what trouble he would cause. He listed things like drugs, alcohol, getting in the wrong crowd, getting some girl pregnant...and so on. I began to think, "Geez, what is this kid already into that his dad is that worried about him?"

The kid is 12.

Once that was cleared up, the dad made it clear that his son had not yet exhibited any major tendencies towards fulfilling his father's fears; it was just the possibilities that scared the man.

Now, at this point I have to admit that I kind of worry about that now. Yes, it is a long way off to worry about who my future teenagers will become, but I just think of how much could go wrong with my parenting or despite of it. Ryan told me afterward that it made him nervous to hear the couples talk about the trouble they've had with their kids and the things they worry about. I told him that that's just how it is; I know I'll probably be just as worrisome as my mom is, and I pray that I will be able to see the fruits of my raising in my kids the way I think me and my siblings exhibit our parents'.

Obviously in talking about fear we discussed how fear can undermine our faith if we let it get to us, failing to give all our worries to God. We search for peace, but we constantly find something to worry about, something to control and bring into submission, when it is not our place to do so.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6,7

I want that peace so badly. Sometimes I find that I can obtain it for just a moment, obeying God and giving my fears to Him. Unfortunately, it never lasts, and I pick up the same old worries and fears I had before, not feeling "comfortable" without the all-too-familiar shroud of fear and doubt. We are all burdened by this in different ways, but the answer to our problem remains the same:

Give it to God.

Here's the Thing...

I'm happy. That's a wonderful thing - as anyone would tell you - but it doesn't incite me to blog. It appears that because I am happy, I have nothing to blog about. Seems ridiculous, doesn't it?? I think it does. You'd think I want to blog even more, but noooo, that's not how it goes! I've always known that writing poetry, songs, or in a journal (whether private or not so much) has been a great way for me to vent and deal with the difficult things in life. It's healthy, and I enjoy it. Nevertheless, I feel as though I am short-changing my happiness by not exuding it through writing as well.

See, I'm blanking right now. I find that as hard as it is sometimes to put my moanings into words, it is even more difficult to express happiness. What is that?! It kind of worries me. I wonder if it is something within me that shuns the idea of putting into words that which could so easily depart. I admit that I am for the most part pessimistic. I realize this, knowing that I should know better - or have better faith.

I am digressing. And writing in a melancholy manner. Forgive me.

God is great. Did you know that? He shows me every day that He loves me, and though I so often miss it I would be lost without it. It's ironic how the things we thrive on the most, the things we can't truly live without, we forget or take for granted that we don't have to work for them. Maybe it's because of that that we do take them for granted. Or maybe it's because we don't think it could possibly be that easy.

I find that I am constantly trying to live up to standards, whether it be my own, someone else's, or the ones I think God has set for me. I don't see it as trying to work towards salvation; I think I see it as my God-demanded duty to uphold them. Somewhere along the line, though, it mutates.

I was reading my Bible last week, and felt like reading some of the study guide stuff at the bottom. In one of the paragraphs I found a sentence that I desire to be my mantra:

"In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in everything, love."

How succinctly does that sum it all up?? If it involves something important, we as a Church are supposed to stick together and work it out with our fellow believers. In the stuff that doesn't really matter to anyone but little old ladies or self-righteous conservatives, we are free! To me, that includes things like whether or not to drink, tattoos, and a ton of other things that people scream and shout arguing over - they don't matter. Maybe I'm taking a liberal view on it, but to me that's what it's saying. The Bible does say, however, that we must respect others and respect how their belief system works. If your friend cannot drink without feeling as though she nailed Christ's hand to the cross (which "technically" we all did anyway), don't tempt her into it and stay away from it while you're around her. <-- There's the unity part! Actually, even more that unity, that is the love part exemplified! By respecting her beliefs and accommodating your own with hers, you are love in action. It all comes together. This is the time at which I have to say that this is not permission to go buck-wild and disregard any moral code. This is when you should listen to the Holy Spirit within you, working with you to show God's love through your own personal life and therefore testimony. We are called to hate what is wrong and stand on the side of good (Romans 12:9-11). I read through all of Romans the past few weeks, and it may possibly be my favorite book. At the very least, it has my now favorite passage. The passage hit me as beautiful and absolutely joyful.

I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away.
Romans 8:38

Gah!! I love it. How amazing is that?! Nothing we or anyone else does will ever separate us. Satan tried that, and Jesus shot him down. To me, that is incredibly encouraging, because I've worried so long about all the things I could do wrong, all the ways I could mess up God's plans, all the ways that I've failed the people around me. This Scripture once again shows that we are free in Christ to live our lives without worry or fear that we will ever be separating from our heavenly Father.

We don't always understand how God loves us, because we get blinded by the people who hurt us, the loss of loved ones, and the suffering we endure. I'm helping with a 5th grade Sunday school class, where they are learning that God has allowed Satan to rule the world - for a short period of time. God is with us, however, giving us the strength to fight Satan each day and live for the glory of God. It's a difficult war in which we lose many battles, but we know how it ends. ;)