Friday, May 16, 2008

Another School Year Ended

Although it doesn't truly feel as though it's over. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't have to move out, which is pretty awesome. I may feel the finality of it when I get home and stay a few days for my brother's graduation. Ugh... Emotional event getting ready to happen right there.

I almost have this feeling now that I'm going to be bored this summer. I know I'll be working, taking the online class, and working out for soccer. Thankfully, there will be some friends here in town I can hang out with, as well as some fellow soccer players to work out with. It's just that after the utter chaos that this past semester was, this summer seems tame. Haha. I know - I should not complain. And I'm not. It's a result of the relief that the hectic semester is over and... now what? I was working at high speed for so long, anything less seems catatonic. Ha. I won't be wanting for stuff to do, I believe.

In August, I come into preseason as a senior. That is crazy. A year from now, I will be graduating - God willing, of course. I believe that between now and then, I will change. It does happen every year, I know, but I just have a feeling that I'm going to be different. Or maybe it's a hope that I will. And I do hope that.

Time is such a funny thing. It sneaks up on you and takes you by surprise, even though you know it is coming. It is possible that we shut our eyes to its advance, in hopes of putting it off for a little while longer. I look forward to moving on after Union. Sometimes I feel it holding me back, a piece of my history that needs to be put on a shelf. The past three years have been the hardest years of my life; I have learned much more than I, even now, can imagine.

Next year, I would love to really spend time with the ones I want to keep, the ones who truly matter, the ones who have (possibly) always been there but maybe have fallen to the wayside for various reasons. I want to close doors that need closing, and open new ones that will show me something different about life as well as myself. I want to be a role model for the freshman soccer girls, as well as the older ones. I want to fully commit myself to living for God through everything I do - especially in how I deal with others and my relationships with each of the people in my life. I want to make my senior year my best one in every sense of the word. I want to live my life the way I should have been living it up till now but haven't always succeeded in doing. We'll see what happens. :)

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