Endings

So, school has been out for a few days now. Thank the Lord God Almighty. It was beyond time, I believe. It was without a doubt the hardest semester I've ever had. All I can say is, I'm glad I survived.

Now I feel like I can get into classes about stuff I really want to know. Stuff I will actually use. I'm looking forward to be able to possibly help people with what I'm learning. It's invigorating. I know I said before that I was sure about what I wanted to do, and was wrong. Twice. I do believe this is what I'm supposed to do. However, if it is not... I'm going to deal with it. Haha. Seriously, I can't change again. No more, promise.

Dick's Sporting Goods has taken over my life next week. I'm working Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Gah. I have to miss Nanny's Christmas lunch on Monday because of work! Boo that. And I won't get to see Lauren much while she's home. Boo that even more. At least I can remind myself that in January I'll be traveling to Oregon to snowboard!! :D I can't tell you how tempting it is to buy all the snowboarding equipment I can at work, especially since I get a discount.

Changing the tone entirely... We put Sandy down yesterday. We decided it was time. She had practically no feeling in one of her legs, and the other was barely responsive. She couldn't keep down anything she ate. She also seemed to be trying to get away by herself; she got stuck in the ditch several times a day week before last. The old saying that an old dog will go off by itself to die seems to hold true. We tried changing her medicine, but it didn't do much good. She was fifteen years old. That's crazy. She'd been with us for three fourths of my life. Poor girl. I hated to see her like that, because I remember how she used to be. I also remember Cajun and Magnum - Magnum, who we lost last year, and Cajun, who we lost the year before.

When we were having our house remodeled, Sandy would be right in the middle of the workers, begging for food. Magnum would walk all the way around the house when you called his name just to avoid running into any of the workers. Cajun was almost always penned up so that she wouldn't get too worn out for hunting, but if she heard the four-wheeler start up, she'd start having a fit. Sandy would greet everyone that came to the house by nosing them in the butt. Haha. One time I carried Magnum from the driveway to the pen because some dog across the street was in heat and he wouldn't come for me to put him up. Another time a dog was in heat, he kept getting out of the pen and we couldn't figure out how. So after I put him up again, I watched him. The fart ran in a circle then dove between the fencing and the bottom fence post! How he figured that out... And Cajun was smart enough to stick pills in the side of her mouth so that even if you closed her mouth and blew on her nose, the pill wouldn't go down. She'd spit it out after Mom walked away.

And now we're left with Honker, who is one of the sweetest dogs ever. Well, he can be - when he's not too excited. Last night we let him in the house, which is definitely not unusual. Looking at him, I thought about all the dogs we've had. My dogs, anyway. Ha. The ones I can remember, the ones that really mattered. And I wondered if it was worth seeing them gone to have them for just a little while. I decided it was. Watching Sandy slowly pass away was so painful, but what a life she had. And how did she improve mine. It was watching a family member go, knowing they had to, knowing it was time and they would be happier. Knowing that you couldn't handle watching them struggle anymore.

Even being the "adult" that I am, I wondered if dogs went to Heaven. Ha. I don't think I believe that they do, but when I have kids, and we have dogs that have to die, I think I want to tell them they do.