So, to completely break from my normal posting schedule of...well, whenever I got around to it...I had to post twice on the same day because I just found out some crazy news:
Jennifer Knapp came out. Of the CLOSET.
I'm not sure how many of you remember Knapp, but I freaking loved her. She was/is? a Christian artist who had a folksy feel to her music and a great voice. She disappeared like forever ago (apparently seven, to be exact) and has now reappeared to knock my socks off - both with her coming out and her new album. She doesn't want to be labeled as a Christian artist, which is fine with me. Her music didn't always follow the all praise route of Christian music, which is something I liked about it. Not that that's bad - I just have my preferences. I want music about the person actually struggling with things, like real life.
Now, this is much more surprising than the revelation about Ray Boltz's sexuality. Really? Look at the 80s hair and clothes he was still rocking and tell me you didn't think about it. I did.
Here is the CNN article about Jennifer Knapp:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/16/jennifer.knapp.gay/index.html?hpt=C2
Don't even think for a second I'm not buying her album. It doesn't matter to me who she dates - her music is just fantastic.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Yeah, It's Been Two Months...
This is possibly the longest time I've ever gone without posting since I started this blog. I could be wrong, though, but I don't care to go back and check that fact at the moment.
I've actually been missing school. Weird, huh? I know it sounds a little crazy, although some working adults may disagree with me on that and feel the same way. The good news is, I will be returning to school! I was accepted into the Clinical Mental Health Counseling Masters program at University of Memphis and will be starting said program late August! :) Unfortunately, it will start only two weeks after the wedding, so we won't have a lot of downtime before I jump back into the world of academia. I am excited, though. Memphis has a great program, and I like to learn about things I care about - like helping people. In two and a half years, I will be out in the work world again, but this time I'll be doing something I truly care about. Yes, a job is a job - but it is so much less stressful and more fulfilling when your heart is in it.
A friend of mine is getting married tomorrow, kicking off the "Year of Weddings." For me, anyway. I know a couple people who have already gotten married this year, but this is the first one I am actually attending. The good thing about having several weddings to go to this year is that I can get a few ideas for my own. If I copy you, just consider it flattery. ;) I read an article yesterday that talked about copying wedding ideas, actually. It's alright as long as you make it your own, which I completely agree with. I've always wanted a unique wedding that wasn't quite traditional, and that's what I'm working towards having.
I have to admit that I have applied my usual procrastination techniques to the wedding planning process. Although I am getting things done and I know I'll be fine, sometimes I feel a very minor panic attack coming on when I realize what I've done to myself by putting things off. I'm really not far behind, though. I never realized how much stuff there was in a wedding. I knew that it wasn't a cake walk, but sheesh. I also now understand how people can spend a ludicrous amount of money on a wedding. Just add chair covers, specialty plates, awesome guest favors, tons of flowers, a full bar, an insane cake, an insane groom's cake, monogrammed everything, a band, a DJ, a dramatic entrance with a Zambini, dancers, a wedding decorator, a wedding planner, gilded everything...
It's ridiculous. And that's not even half the stuff I've seen, and not including the $20,000 wedding gown - or more. If you want to go all out, you can go beyond that and make your guests' heads spontaneously combust with the amount of crap you put into your wedding. I, however, have no such ambitions - so be glad.
I get the feeling that over the next four months (just four months!) I won't be writing about much of anything besides wedding stuff. I could promise otherwise, but there's not much else I've been thinking about. Well, except for the fact that in a month I turn 23, Ryan turns 21, and then he graduates the next week. It doesn't bother me now, but I think I'm not going to be real happy when I turn 30 two years before he does. And then 40, then 50... And that's enough! I shall resist thinking about it. Haha.
We are trying to get into the process of buying a house, which I'm told is not the most fun process ever. What adult thing is? Well... Anyway, it's interesting trying to find a "safe" neighborhood in Memphis. We looked at one, told that was bad, looked at another, got directed once again... We were told by a Memphis police officer that Cordova is our best bet, so that's where we're headed. Now to get preapproved, talk to a realtor, check out houses, make offers... I'm tired already. But we will succeed!
I am so thankful it's Friday. Monday and Tuesday went by so slowly, they were killing me. I woke Wednesday, and thought, "Hm...tomorrow is Friday, so casual... Wait. It's Wednesday, isn't it?? Crap!" Disappointment prevailed. However, Friday did finally arrive, so I can't complain. I shouldn't ever complain, I know, but what human doesn't complain?
Ever since the Suggestion box on Facebook showed up, I have been lamenting its existence. There are some people you just do not care to reconnect with, which is why you never looked for them in the first place. Also, if I have ONE friend in common with this person, WHY do you think that means I automatically know them, Facebook?! And now it not only suggests new friends, it wants to constantly talk to EVERY ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS. "Reconnect with Jason! Send him a message explaining why you haven't visited his profile, wrote on his wall, commented on his posts, or messaged him since last week!" No, thank you. I just went into ranting mode for a second. Sorry. I just wish they would give you the option to not show that box, but they probably realize that everyone would delete it. You can click through each thing to clear it, but give FB two days and it's back with completely new random people you don't want to connect with.
Speaking of reconnecting, I did actually reconnect with someone this week, but that stupid suggestion box had nothing to do with it - even though it started on Facebook. It was a fantastic reconnection, and one that should have happened a LONG time ago. I'm going to stop calling it a reconnection, because it makes it sound like a liaison instead of ridiculously long FB messages then a three hour phone conversation. I'm creepy even when I don't mean to be...
I would say that I've made up for two months of not posting, but within the boundaries of the average lengths of my posts it's safe to say that I haven't. Nevertheless, I will give you a respite and cease typing for now.
I've actually been missing school. Weird, huh? I know it sounds a little crazy, although some working adults may disagree with me on that and feel the same way. The good news is, I will be returning to school! I was accepted into the Clinical Mental Health Counseling Masters program at University of Memphis and will be starting said program late August! :) Unfortunately, it will start only two weeks after the wedding, so we won't have a lot of downtime before I jump back into the world of academia. I am excited, though. Memphis has a great program, and I like to learn about things I care about - like helping people. In two and a half years, I will be out in the work world again, but this time I'll be doing something I truly care about. Yes, a job is a job - but it is so much less stressful and more fulfilling when your heart is in it.
A friend of mine is getting married tomorrow, kicking off the "Year of Weddings." For me, anyway. I know a couple people who have already gotten married this year, but this is the first one I am actually attending. The good thing about having several weddings to go to this year is that I can get a few ideas for my own. If I copy you, just consider it flattery. ;) I read an article yesterday that talked about copying wedding ideas, actually. It's alright as long as you make it your own, which I completely agree with. I've always wanted a unique wedding that wasn't quite traditional, and that's what I'm working towards having.
I have to admit that I have applied my usual procrastination techniques to the wedding planning process. Although I am getting things done and I know I'll be fine, sometimes I feel a very minor panic attack coming on when I realize what I've done to myself by putting things off. I'm really not far behind, though. I never realized how much stuff there was in a wedding. I knew that it wasn't a cake walk, but sheesh. I also now understand how people can spend a ludicrous amount of money on a wedding. Just add chair covers, specialty plates, awesome guest favors, tons of flowers, a full bar, an insane cake, an insane groom's cake, monogrammed everything, a band, a DJ, a dramatic entrance with a Zambini, dancers, a wedding decorator, a wedding planner, gilded everything...
It's ridiculous. And that's not even half the stuff I've seen, and not including the $20,000 wedding gown - or more. If you want to go all out, you can go beyond that and make your guests' heads spontaneously combust with the amount of crap you put into your wedding. I, however, have no such ambitions - so be glad.
I get the feeling that over the next four months (just four months!) I won't be writing about much of anything besides wedding stuff. I could promise otherwise, but there's not much else I've been thinking about. Well, except for the fact that in a month I turn 23, Ryan turns 21, and then he graduates the next week. It doesn't bother me now, but I think I'm not going to be real happy when I turn 30 two years before he does. And then 40, then 50... And that's enough! I shall resist thinking about it. Haha.
We are trying to get into the process of buying a house, which I'm told is not the most fun process ever. What adult thing is? Well... Anyway, it's interesting trying to find a "safe" neighborhood in Memphis. We looked at one, told that was bad, looked at another, got directed once again... We were told by a Memphis police officer that Cordova is our best bet, so that's where we're headed. Now to get preapproved, talk to a realtor, check out houses, make offers... I'm tired already. But we will succeed!
I am so thankful it's Friday. Monday and Tuesday went by so slowly, they were killing me. I woke Wednesday, and thought, "Hm...tomorrow is Friday, so casual... Wait. It's Wednesday, isn't it?? Crap!" Disappointment prevailed. However, Friday did finally arrive, so I can't complain. I shouldn't ever complain, I know, but what human doesn't complain?
Ever since the Suggestion box on Facebook showed up, I have been lamenting its existence. There are some people you just do not care to reconnect with, which is why you never looked for them in the first place. Also, if I have ONE friend in common with this person, WHY do you think that means I automatically know them, Facebook?! And now it not only suggests new friends, it wants to constantly talk to EVERY ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS. "Reconnect with Jason! Send him a message explaining why you haven't visited his profile, wrote on his wall, commented on his posts, or messaged him since last week!" No, thank you. I just went into ranting mode for a second. Sorry. I just wish they would give you the option to not show that box, but they probably realize that everyone would delete it. You can click through each thing to clear it, but give FB two days and it's back with completely new random people you don't want to connect with.
Speaking of reconnecting, I did actually reconnect with someone this week, but that stupid suggestion box had nothing to do with it - even though it started on Facebook. It was a fantastic reconnection, and one that should have happened a LONG time ago. I'm going to stop calling it a reconnection, because it makes it sound like a liaison instead of ridiculously long FB messages then a three hour phone conversation. I'm creepy even when I don't mean to be...
I would say that I've made up for two months of not posting, but within the boundaries of the average lengths of my posts it's safe to say that I haven't. Nevertheless, I will give you a respite and cease typing for now.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wedding Planning Stress
I definitely have it. I don't do well when I think something is going to be fairly easy and it turns out to be significantly more difficult than I thought. Maybe we're the ones being difficult by wanting less than traditional things, like nontraditional ceremony music and a 93 lb. Labrador Retriever for a ring bearer.
However, I am excited. Truly. We've seriously considered just running off to a courthouse and being done with it, but I have to admit that I want the whole she-bang. I want people to celebrate with us, I want to wear a pretty dress (shocker, I know), and I want to share my happiness with others. Maybe because I was a tomboy, I didn't spend a lot of time imagining what my wedding would look like; I just knew I wanted one. When we first got engaged, Ryan and I both kept getting realizations of what was actually happening - and getting excited all over again each time.
I found my wedding dress! :) The dress didn't even stand out to me when I first saw it, but I was trying on whatever looked pretty and had some of the important details I wanted. I didn't expect to cry over finding my wedding dress, but I probably should have known better. It just kind of hit me all of sudden that this was the one. Haha. I am such a sap... I felt some stress melt off of me after we purchased the dress; it made me feel like I was actually getting somewhere or getting something done. Btw, Low's Bridal in Arkansas = fantastic.
I started running yesterday for the first time in...I don't even know and probably don't want to know. Some time last fall. Anyway, I plan on losing a little weight before the wedding, as I know pretty much every bride does or wants to do. The problem is, I love food. Like a lot. Chocoholics run in my family, believe me. I guess I could try to stick to only sour candy, but then, as my parents told me for years before they figured out it wasn't doing any good, it rots your teeth out. Give me extra weight over losing teeth any day.
Which reminds me - I still miss that candy store that was in the Jackson mall like 10-15 years ago. It was like a death in the family when they went out of business, because my favorite candy EVER is sour belts, which you can only find at the candy stores you typically find only in malls. So tragic. I was in the mall some time last week and had a craving for sour belts, making me mourn the loss of the store all over again.
I'm considering putting a disclaimer on this blog: "DISCLAIMER: Blogger is repetitive, distracted, random, and sometimes irrelevant to the initial topic of a blog. The title of any blog is subject to dissections, diatribes, and deviations." That's all I've got for now. I'm hungry and therefore slightly distracted, as I know that I have another hour and a half before I leave for lunch. Now I'm just thinking about where I want to eat.
K bye.
However, I am excited. Truly. We've seriously considered just running off to a courthouse and being done with it, but I have to admit that I want the whole she-bang. I want people to celebrate with us, I want to wear a pretty dress (shocker, I know), and I want to share my happiness with others. Maybe because I was a tomboy, I didn't spend a lot of time imagining what my wedding would look like; I just knew I wanted one. When we first got engaged, Ryan and I both kept getting realizations of what was actually happening - and getting excited all over again each time.
I found my wedding dress! :) The dress didn't even stand out to me when I first saw it, but I was trying on whatever looked pretty and had some of the important details I wanted. I didn't expect to cry over finding my wedding dress, but I probably should have known better. It just kind of hit me all of sudden that this was the one. Haha. I am such a sap... I felt some stress melt off of me after we purchased the dress; it made me feel like I was actually getting somewhere or getting something done. Btw, Low's Bridal in Arkansas = fantastic.
I started running yesterday for the first time in...I don't even know and probably don't want to know. Some time last fall. Anyway, I plan on losing a little weight before the wedding, as I know pretty much every bride does or wants to do. The problem is, I love food. Like a lot. Chocoholics run in my family, believe me. I guess I could try to stick to only sour candy, but then, as my parents told me for years before they figured out it wasn't doing any good, it rots your teeth out. Give me extra weight over losing teeth any day.
Which reminds me - I still miss that candy store that was in the Jackson mall like 10-15 years ago. It was like a death in the family when they went out of business, because my favorite candy EVER is sour belts, which you can only find at the candy stores you typically find only in malls. So tragic. I was in the mall some time last week and had a craving for sour belts, making me mourn the loss of the store all over again.
I'm considering putting a disclaimer on this blog: "DISCLAIMER: Blogger is repetitive, distracted, random, and sometimes irrelevant to the initial topic of a blog. The title of any blog is subject to dissections, diatribes, and deviations." That's all I've got for now. I'm hungry and therefore slightly distracted, as I know that I have another hour and a half before I leave for lunch. Now I'm just thinking about where I want to eat.
K bye.
Monday, December 14, 2009
There's This Line...
That I'm still working on finding. It's the line between trusting in God and being proactive in fulfilling His will. Where is it? I so often mistake it, thinking that there must be SOMETHING I can do to make the right things happen. I find myself wondering what I'm missing, where are the perfect words I can say to that person to make it clear. I've never thought of myself as much of a leader, but somehow I can't sit back and let everything happen without trying to do something to help it along.
It seems that to some extent we all struggle with letting things go. One night in our church community group we went around telling whether we were laid-back people or more controlling. Most people said they were more controlling, but even those who considered themselves laid-back had things that they wanted control over. The latter is more my area - I am a laid-back person....until I feel like I can do something or that I'll go crazy if I don't. One of the hardest things for me to be laid-back about is struggling friends. If someone is hurting, I am rearing to go, ready to beat anyone I have to or stitch up their wounds. This also applies if one of my relationships is struggling. As much as I hate confrontation, I will initiate it if I believe it to be necessary. I am a strong believer in communication, even though I'm not near as gifted in it as I would wish.
I've found that being useless scares me. I think that's another thing that most people have in common as well; we hate to think of ourselves as adding nothing to the world around us. So for God to call us to "Be still" - we find that very difficult indeed. Yes, we trust God, but is there nothing we can do to make everything better?? God tells us to do all things for His glory, but sometimes that includes sitting back and watching, as much as it may pain us to do so. I typically consider myself a patient person as well, but the list of things I am patient about is not a universal list - there are a few exceptions.
Another thing I have found is that when I finally do calm down and be still, God does amazing things. Not that He doesn't always do amazing things - it's just that subconsciously I somehow think that me not moving, not doing something will not produce anything for the glory of God. Do I think that much of myself, to think that God cannot move without me? How delusional and egotistical! I have to laugh at that ridiculous notion, and I can imagine God does as well (in a "That's cute, funny little human" kind of way).
Yesterday one of my friends was discussing how something she had been waiting on forever had just happened after she had given up on it, saying, "I guess all I really had to do was let it go and truly give it to Him [God] after all." Amen. Easily said but hardly done.
Honesty time: I was one of those Union girls looking for a Mrs. degree. Especially in the first couple of years, I was on the lookout for my future husband. I do realize how desperate and romcom this sounds, but I prefaced this by saying it was honesty time. Whether or not I admitted it at the time, I know this was my mindset. However, by the end of my junior year, I quit looking. The thought process was this: "I have only one more year left here. I'm going to grad school far away, so there's no point in trying to find Mr. Right here when I'll just be moving away. I'll find him at grad school." Haha... Yes, I'm a dork.
Of course, what happens? Just when I finally give it up and sit back to wait, God jumps in with His own (and infinitely better) plan. Someone asked me a few days ago, "Last year, did you think you would be engaged at this time, just a year later?" My reply was, "No! I'd given up on Union guys!" Lol. My plans changed because God moved, and I could not be happier for it.
I wish I could draw a line and say, "This is where you need to step back and give it up." Really, we should always be giving it up to God but ready to move when He asks, but I understand how difficult that can be. And sometimes I've misunderstood what God wanted from me, probably because I had my own plan of how I thought God wanted it to go. We always get in the way of our own obedience. In my case, a lot of it is over-analyzing.
I pray that we all have peace about what God is doing, whether we're moving or not, because God is constantly moving. He never rests and always knows how it's going to go. Things always work out for His glory, and we know how it all ends! Why do we worry so? Yes, we should obey His commandments and work to live for His glory, but in the end our mistakes will not matter. So why freak out when we make them? I am completely guilty of that, worrying about making mistakes and despairing when I make them! God works through us, with us, around us, and - most important to me - despite us. To me, the last is ultimately reassuring.
It seems that to some extent we all struggle with letting things go. One night in our church community group we went around telling whether we were laid-back people or more controlling. Most people said they were more controlling, but even those who considered themselves laid-back had things that they wanted control over. The latter is more my area - I am a laid-back person....until I feel like I can do something or that I'll go crazy if I don't. One of the hardest things for me to be laid-back about is struggling friends. If someone is hurting, I am rearing to go, ready to beat anyone I have to or stitch up their wounds. This also applies if one of my relationships is struggling. As much as I hate confrontation, I will initiate it if I believe it to be necessary. I am a strong believer in communication, even though I'm not near as gifted in it as I would wish.
I've found that being useless scares me. I think that's another thing that most people have in common as well; we hate to think of ourselves as adding nothing to the world around us. So for God to call us to "Be still" - we find that very difficult indeed. Yes, we trust God, but is there nothing we can do to make everything better?? God tells us to do all things for His glory, but sometimes that includes sitting back and watching, as much as it may pain us to do so. I typically consider myself a patient person as well, but the list of things I am patient about is not a universal list - there are a few exceptions.
Another thing I have found is that when I finally do calm down and be still, God does amazing things. Not that He doesn't always do amazing things - it's just that subconsciously I somehow think that me not moving, not doing something will not produce anything for the glory of God. Do I think that much of myself, to think that God cannot move without me? How delusional and egotistical! I have to laugh at that ridiculous notion, and I can imagine God does as well (in a "That's cute, funny little human" kind of way).
Yesterday one of my friends was discussing how something she had been waiting on forever had just happened after she had given up on it, saying, "I guess all I really had to do was let it go and truly give it to Him [God] after all." Amen. Easily said but hardly done.
Honesty time: I was one of those Union girls looking for a Mrs. degree. Especially in the first couple of years, I was on the lookout for my future husband. I do realize how desperate and romcom this sounds, but I prefaced this by saying it was honesty time. Whether or not I admitted it at the time, I know this was my mindset. However, by the end of my junior year, I quit looking. The thought process was this: "I have only one more year left here. I'm going to grad school far away, so there's no point in trying to find Mr. Right here when I'll just be moving away. I'll find him at grad school." Haha... Yes, I'm a dork.
Of course, what happens? Just when I finally give it up and sit back to wait, God jumps in with His own (and infinitely better) plan. Someone asked me a few days ago, "Last year, did you think you would be engaged at this time, just a year later?" My reply was, "No! I'd given up on Union guys!" Lol. My plans changed because God moved, and I could not be happier for it.
I wish I could draw a line and say, "This is where you need to step back and give it up." Really, we should always be giving it up to God but ready to move when He asks, but I understand how difficult that can be. And sometimes I've misunderstood what God wanted from me, probably because I had my own plan of how I thought God wanted it to go. We always get in the way of our own obedience. In my case, a lot of it is over-analyzing.
I pray that we all have peace about what God is doing, whether we're moving or not, because God is constantly moving. He never rests and always knows how it's going to go. Things always work out for His glory, and we know how it all ends! Why do we worry so? Yes, we should obey His commandments and work to live for His glory, but in the end our mistakes will not matter. So why freak out when we make them? I am completely guilty of that, worrying about making mistakes and despairing when I make them! God works through us, with us, around us, and - most important to me - despite us. To me, the last is ultimately reassuring.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Our Wedding Website!
I know I've been due for a blog since I got engaged, but I decided I would put the important stuff on our wedding website - like the proposal story, for one! Nothing is planned, really, at the moment, so it's mostly empty otherwise. Anyway, here is the address...
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyanSpickard&DaronWebb
Enjoy! :)
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyanSpickard&DaronWebb
Enjoy! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)